How to Make Everyone on Your Cruise Ship Hate You

A cruise ship is, essentially, like a small town or community, so you shouldn’t behave here in ways that you wouldn’t at home. I get it, lines are long on some bigger ships — to get off the ship in port and to reboard at the end of the day, for example. But there’s no way around it. Be a grownup and patiently wait in line with everyone else.

4. Barking into your cellphone

We can’t hear the ocean breeze over your loud talking. (Photo: Age Fotostock/Alamy)

On a cruise out of a domestic port to, say, the Caribbean, before the ship has sailed into international waters may be the only time you can use your cell without roaming charges. As a result, you may want to say one last goodbye to friends, family members, and co-workers before unplugging. Just be considerate: Do it in your cabin, or at an appropriate volume. There are other people trying to have conversations too, and while some of the ship’s public spaces may look like shopping malls, they aren’t, and you don’t have that same degree of anonymity.

5. Not supervising your older kids

There are rules to follow in the pools (Photo: Rosalrene Betancourt 1/Alamy)

Some cruises are made for families, so no one really has a right to complain about the typical behavior of children. But if you let your older children run through the baby pool area so quickly they terrorize the tots, I am going to judge you and your poor parenting skills. Also, don’t let your child do cannonballs. Ships have small pools, and the number of people splashed, and even possibly hurt by such behavior, is not small.

Related: 8 Cruise Ship Pools That Make You Say Wow

6. Not watching your younger kids

Don’t use other passengers on the ship as babysitters. (Photo: Pavel Losevsky/Alamy)

I’ve heard stories of parents leaving small children unsupervised in cabins and in public spaces. There are lots of people around, but it is not their job to take care of your child. On a recent cruise I actually had to pull an unsupervised small child out of the water because he couldn’t swim well and had fallen off his inner tube. I was happy to swoop in and help the frightened child, but a parent should have been there to do that instead.

7. Being sloppy drunk

Drunk karaoke on board! (Photo: Ruby/Alamy)

After dinner, some cruise ships go to bed — and others seem to come alive. I am all for dancing and having fun, but if you’re knocking people over on the dance floor or by the bar, you deserve the dirty looks you get from other passengers. A ship has a finite amount of space, and if you’re negatively impacting the atmosphere on the dance floor, you’re probably spoiling the one dance space available to your fellow cruisers.

Of course, the worse you behave, the more your fellow passengers will hate you. If you’re screaming down the hallways in the middle of the night because you’re too wasted to find your cabin, I will consider calling the front desk to have security step in. 

Consider yourself warned. 

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