My Caribbean: 5 Vignettes

1. BARBADOS

I was just 8 years old when my grandmother announced to my brother and me that she would be taking us to Barbados for the summer.

Where is that? I asked. Her response was, in the West Indies, but I had no idea where the West Indies was or what type of people inhabited such a place. Did they all look like my grandmother or something else?

I spent most of the hours on the Pan Am flight staring out into the darkness, wondering about this foreign land we were traveling to. From my dinner, I’d saved the dessert, a square slice of pineapple spongecake. It would be my offering to the great chief of the West Indians that no doubt would be meeting us at the airport.

After landing we walked out into the warm morning air, heavy with scents of sea salt and sugar cane. The sun was just beginning to glow, casting a soft light onto the surrounding pastures, dotted with grazing cows, hogs and goats.

Weeks before our departure my young mind had churned out visions of the West Indies in a dream that placed me shaking and scared in a tepee circled by Indians clutching bows and arrows. But my grandmother’s cousins looked nothing like what I had imagined, nor did they look like my grandmother; they were short and stout in stature, similar to the women depicted in Botero’s paintings.

Bernice L. McFadden.

Eric Payne

Bernice L. McFadden.

They embraced me, but I did not drop my guard, no matter how wonderful their fat arms felt wrapped around my slim body. I presented them with my gift, and they giggled.

My brother and I slid across the broad leather seat of a 1956 Fairlane as it sped down unpaved roads that snaked through hollowed-out mountains dripping with pink and white bougainvillea. The vast, unbelievably blue Caribbean was always to our left, bucking with exultation as the sun slipped over the horizon and sprinkled it with shimmering rays of confetti.

Their home was in Paynes Bay, St. James, an area known as the Gold Coast. They lived in a small brown and beige chattel house that rested on a foundation of quarry and sea stones. It shook and shivered when we walked across the thin wooden floor.

My first meal in that strange land was steamed fish and a molehill of something that looked like mashed potatoes, but was buttery in color, made of cornmeal and okra.

“What is this?”

“Barbados national dish, flying fish and coo-coo.”

Flying fish? Fish with wings?

I was intrigued.

In the weeks that followed, I became comfortable with barefoot living and the green lizards that watched me curiously from the windowsills and walls. I looked forward to dusk as I had become fascinated by the ruby-colored soldier crabs that climbed from earthen holes to begin their nightly scavenge for food. In Brooklyn, stars were scarce, but in Barbados, the night sky was littered with them.

Our playground was the sea, and most of our days were spent frolicking in it. We were thrilled when the Jolly Rogers, a party cruise boat, entered our playground waters. The soca and calypso music sailed our way and we would bump, grind and gyrate in the “wuk-up” style of dance that has come to be known as “twerking” — but has ancient African roots.

Every day I thought about the flying fish and secretly watched for them in the emerald-colored canopy of the breadfruit trees.

As the end of the summer approached, I promised myself that I would return again and again. Forty years later, I honor the promise at least once a year.

The day before we were set to return to the states, I fell into a deep melancholy because I did not want to leave and I had not caught a glimpse of the elusive flying fish. I was swimming, and the sun was just beginning to set when my aunt called us children in for dinner.

“One last time,” I screamed in response, sucked air into my lungs and dove deeper than I had the entire summer, so deep that my ears popped as I surged toward the creamy-colored sand beneath me.

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